Poetry – The Tears You’ll Shed

Welcome back.

Here’s a poem written to my child, who is yet to be born. A little stream-of-consciousness but still in my normal confessional style.

I have been struggling for a long time with how I am going to approach my mental illness and trauma when parenting my child. I wrote this after a therapy session yesterday, and I think it goes some way to dealing with the issue.

Get therapy if you need it (and more of you do than will admit it, even to yourselves). It can help.




The Tears You’ll Shed

It took six months
and a million years
for you to grow in
my heart.

Longer still before you came to be.

You haven’t yet begun to breathe,
but still…

Grown inside your mother’s womb
you kick and roll and squirm as if
to leap into the world.

Shall I tell you?

That I’ve been hurled
from end-to-end of life?

That, for all its strife,
walking on the knife’s-edge
of sanity I’ve been held together
only by my wife?

That at the edge of the abyss
I turned around once more?

Shall I tell you of
the love?

The pain?

The tears you’ll shed?

The friendships that you lose
and gain?

The nights alone in bed
with nothing but a poisoned mind
and all eternity of time?


These pains are mine
and mine alone
to bear.

Bare-foot, you’ll walk into the world:
we’ll hold you tight;
guide you to the light;
keep you from the endless night
that haunts me.

A perfect match of two
imperfect souls,
we’ll be forever yours.

And in our hearts
you’ll be
forever ours.

Poetry – In a nutshell (bound)


The world’s been pretty crazy and I think my muse came down with something. No idea if they’re back, but I wrote a little poem anyway.

It’s not great, but I managed to squeeze something of value out of my mind for the first time in a long time.

It’ll have to do for now.



In a nutshell (bound)

My mind is in entropy,
and no amount of empathy
can hold it together;
centre me.

Once-whole thoughts collide
like atoms, gaining speed like
heat, drifting apart ’til they’re solid
no longer; each half-life
of my unstable mind
spilling energy into the

until I’m spent.

“It will all fall apart,”
they say,
I nod and smile
as if I understand.

But I can’t stand (it)

Subatomic thoughts,
charge like electrons
hoping to find their
equal pair,

bound in a
boundless space,

to balance the world

But we’re too far

and it’s cold and I’m alone
out here

and all that’s left